Alien Conquest

Ironically, the machines the aliens are using to exterminate us actually look quite a lot like those depicted in H. G. Wells’s novel, The War of the Worlds. Doubly, no Triply, no… Supercalifragilistically ironically, their leader’s name is Xenu. Yeah, everyone is pretty flabbergasted about that. But it hardly matters.

The only thing that does matter is that we are all going to die. You have a load of darks in the washing machine, your favorite show is halfway through, and you’re feeling a little buzzed because you’re working on your second cocktail of the night when the message comes through: “Earthlings! Prepare to die! You have sixty of your earth-minutes before we kill you all!”

You could easily spend an hour just contemplating why invading aliens always have to be so melodramatic, and you’re certainly going to finish that cocktail. But, maybe…